Really? You can't be serious...Oh , you are.....

Ahhh yes, been a bit I realized since I sat down to write anything...part procrastination, part had nothing remotely funny ( at least I thought) to say and well..timing is everything.  As this last month thankfully passes the weather and my general disposition is getting brighter. 
I am reminded as well with the phone calls inquiring if the U pick raspberries are ready that my 4 weeks of house arrest is to begin. I am truly thankful we will hopefully be busy, bustling with lots of people which of course brings in the money.....you know for the extra wine I will need to get through it ;P  Most are lovely people, in search of a farm experience, day out, fresh fruit and what have you...then there is everybody else....
We have set up a very rustic farm gate set up for some veggies at the end of the drive way...very farmie indeed!  The offerings will change as the season, Self Serve, honour system.  It works well and we have only been ripped off a few times and if someone wants to steal a pound of veggies that is their Karma to deal with at a later date. 
I had a gentleman *ahem pull into the driveway yesterday, ignoring the Self Serve sign or too lazy to open the cooler lid and see what was in there (hard to tell) and ask what we had today.  I explained everything is late this year but we did have broccoli and baby squash picked just this morning....He may have thought I said dog poop surprise or vomit in a bag because he wrinkled his nose, shook his head and said loudly "Ewwwww No Thanks." Got in his van and left.  I am pretty sure I said broccoli and baby squash but who knows.  Maybe it was lost in translation???  I did offer as he drove away that carrots were later this week but that maybe to him sounded like something else too, hard to tell as he sped away.
This brings me to the next four weeks to sum up the most bizarre from the past.....My replies are in my head...I do have a filter that works most the time
1. Do you water the raspberries because you know that would help.
Me:  What , w-a-t-e-r  what is this magic fluid you speak of? My husband would be most interested in this magic potion that makes fruit grow...
2. There are bugs out there
Me: Duh
3. I read somewhere that urine helps the plants grow, you should collect it from the staff and fertilize with it
Me: Brain bleach, slamming door to my ears...go away you weirdo
4. Do you have pre picked raspberries? I am too lazy to pick them.
Me: U PICK...not ME PICK......i thought the sign was very clear
5. Hey want to see the weapon I carved out of bone today it's in my car
Me: 911
6. I went out to the raspberry patch and I can't find any
Me: oh sorry, I should have explained...the ACRE out there..see all the red things those are raspberries..you may have to lift up a branch too..don't strain yourself
7. Wow it takes a long time to get a bucket full...can I get a discount?
Me: I guess I should have warned you they are not apples and it will take a bit to get a pound....my bad, discount..nah go to your local grocery store and pay $20 for an ounce.
8.  It's hot out there
Me: Yep same temperature as the rest of the Okanagan...sorry the air conditioner in the field must not be working today.....come back tomorrow...or not.....
9. How long does it take to pick an icecream pail.....
Me: Uhhh depends on how motivated you are and how much you divvy up between your mouth and the bucket...really
10.Those kids out there...yep the blonde ones..they are mine they can eat as much as they want.....it's OK......

So here we go.....next week we open and for the most part it will be fine.....then there will be more of the above...please stop by with alcoholic bevvies...I won't charge you for the show. :P